New Years Eve..

Well, its 4 hours and counting until the big 2008!! Can you believe its been 8 years already? I remember the panic from 2008 when everybody was rushing to the stores getting supplies of food and water thinking the world was about to come to and end. As I lay here in the bed watching reruns of Project Runway, I think about this last year. This time last year, I had been working barely a month.. after a LOONG 9 month unemployment spell. THANK YOU GOD!! This company has truly been a blessing, more money, flexible, and most of off they seem to care about their employees. I have been in 2 car accidents this year that I walked away from; THANK YOU GOD!! I could have been critically injured or even dead. I was pregnant for the first time ever at the tender age of 31, unfortunately, I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks in, on 8/27, but you know what, even thought its still painful when i think about it, I still say THANK YOU GOD!!I know He had a reason and I love him nonetheless, im not bitter or angry about it. I of course do not know what His reason was, but I trust him and know he is my keeper, so its all good! Finally, THANK YOU GOD for my mother, grandmother, sister, and all my friends and family who's been there for me thru thick and thin! I cant even express in words how much I love them!

I dont plan on making in resolutions, because they will more than likely be broken. I am this year however making a concious effort to take care of myself. I have been going to the gym, have changed my diet, and sooner or later, hopefully sooner, I am going to get off of those Newports! I have done it before so I can do it again. Speaking of that, that's another change. I started back smoking to help relieve stress. One of those stress causers was my ex boyfriend... I got rid of him this year too and life has been so much more peacful. Ladies, if he's stressing you.... be owt! Learn to love yourself more... Im still working on that but its getting easier by the day. Make this new year a happy year for you! Clean house! Anyway, if you are reading this, take a moment to think about 2007. What did you learn? Did anything significant happen? What great memories do you have from this year? Who do you love and appreciate the most? Thank God for all your experiences, friends, and family! Thank God for letting you see another year!

So as I rap this up and get ready to go have a little fun with my LS and some other sorors, I say Have a Safe, Happy, Prosperous New Year! God Bless...

X-mas Eve

Its Christmas Eve and im sitting here at work! I should be at home just waking up. Getting ready to cook breakfast for family and friends, but no, im here.. doing pretty much nothing; on the message boards and sending emails. Fortunately, there was no traffic today and im leaving at noon so its not so bad. Unfortunatly, when I came in and checked my emails, I saw that a coworker is resigning as of today! My dept is small so here we go again, on the hunt for a replacement! Another one that was supposed to be here today had a wreck on Friday and totaled her car so she's not here. I hope she's okay. Anyway, back to work, Im counting down. One more hour!

as the days unfold...

Well, another day. Christmas is almost here and nothing exciting is going on in my life. I finally made the first insitutional visitation to my ex today. Why was it outside? It was cold as hell today. Anything, nothing much was really discussed. Just everyday goings on. He tried every once in a while to slip something in about us but i shut that down fairly quickly. I was pretty much just like there is no us and there never will be again. The visitation was supposed to be 2 hours but I didnt dare stay that long.
Anyway, life has been a little better. My coworker is finally back... sorta. She's working from home but my load has definatly been lightened. Still busy as ever with Delta. I fucked up and lost some money for a ticket so I am going to have to front that. I guess that will just teach me to be more responsible.
I have been going to the gym lately. My goal was 20lbs by March but I have lost 6 already so I may reach my goal way before March.
I havent met any new guys lately but then again I dont know if im ready to. I sware I only meet losers any damn way.
I finally got a little shopping done today for Christmas. I have always been a last minute shopper. I hate the traffic and crowds but you get better deals the closer it is to Christmas. People are trying to get rid of shit by then.
Yesterday I went out with my sorors to one of my favorite restaraunts; Maggiano's. There food is way better than Olive Garden. It was so funny we saw these somewhat young black people come in and it was so funny because I realize we, black ppl, act funny too! We looked at them like they dont belong here. I was thinking if I was the waiter, I would want to see money up front. The funny part about this was about 10 minutes later, they got up and left. I think the menu prices scared them off. Like I said, its not Olive Garden! lol
Anyway, I had a great time. Thats one of the things I DO enjoy about the holidays. Merry Christmas! Feliz Navidad!

It's the weekend...

and I plan on having fun. I havent been out in a while.. Im going to my girls birthday party and I plan on making the most of it! I hope to see my crush there tonight!! Anyway, this week has been pretty busy as usual.. the coworker is still not back, hopefully we know something this week because she was supposed to go to the doctore on yesterday. Speaking of yesterday, we had our company Christmas party. It was pretty nice but i definately think they need a better plan. It was at this downtown restaraunt called Zula. It was an actual sit down dinner... the service was okay but definaltey should have been buffet style. I was planning on bouncing about 2p but hell, we didnt even start eating until around that time. I think it would be nice for a smaller group of people.. but not 140 in one party.
Today I was supposed to go to a service project to feed some less fortunate kids and pass out toys. I didnt go. I feel so bad. But, it was pooring cats and dogs and where I live, if you leave, you are subject to not be able to get back home because of flooding. So I woke up, looked at the clocked, listened to the rain, then rolled my ass right back over and didnt wake up until noon!
I decided to get up and head out at that point. I have my girls party tonight, and had to go find something to wear. She has a purple theme and I didnt realize until i started looking that I didnt really have anything purple. While I was out, decided to hit the gym.. hell, i needed after how i ate at the Christmas party yesterday. Anyway, im good to go now so i will eat a little dinner, rest up, the break about 9 or 10. I have another gathering yesterday, but its with my chapter sorors so it should be fun. I took off Monday just incase we go all night like we tend to do sometimes. Anyway, if I havent said it.. Happy Holidays! Peace!

Just another day..

Not a whole lot to say today. I finally started back going to the gym today..I hope to get back to where I was in 2004 before my dad died. Work was the same, busy as usual but not too stressful. Some mangement calls were made this week so I take it a few people got the picture. My ex's mom called me yesterday saying that I was acting funny with her because I hadnt been calling her. I wonder if she thinks im still suppose to keep in touch with her even though her son and I are no longer together; like she's my homegirl or something. I dont get that, why continue to communicate with your ex's family/friends? I mean really, you only communicated with them in the first placed because you were in a relationship with someone in their family, not because yawl was just cool like that. I have a freind who just had a problems with this same kinda shit. For Thanksgiving, she went over to her boyfreind's parent's house and one of the ppl over there was her boyfriend's ex! Why? Apparently, the mother invited her and said she wasnt going to stop communicating with her just because the son and her were no longer together. Is that blatent disrespect or not? It would have beenn some issues that day. he played it cool though and stuck around. I dont know if I could have done that!
Anyway, back to me, my ex is in jail and wants me to come see in and send some pictures. I guess he asked her to call me and find out something. Like I didnt already know that! Of course he sent me a letter saying the same thing but I have yet to respond. As i stated before, i dont want him to think the wrong thing. We will never be together again. I went back a second time.. I wont be a fool again!

On another note, shout out to my girl "Puzzle Pieces".. im praying for you. Hope you feel better and come back soon! You have a little lady that needs you!

A new day...

Well its Monday again and I had a hectic weekend. Didnt even try to write anything because I was too tired. When I left the house on Saturday morning at 9:45am, I didnt make it back home until after midnight. It was a productive day though. Chapter mtg went well, training went well, nieces b-day party went well. Had a good time at the Zeta coming out show, even though I was surrounded by blue and white! I rep'ed for my crew though! Afterward I went to the Omega house to watch the fight. Mayweather whooped that ass! I saw my crush there and was all warm and fuzzy inside as usual. I did find out some info that made me a little salty though. The Zeta that invited me to the coming out show, has a crush the same dude. I actually didnt even know about the fight party until she told me. Come to find out, she just wanted me to go with her so she could see him. I didnt let on to my attraction to him though... we actually have a past and well, that's none of her business. She has some self esteem problems and I didnt want to add to them! The next day I slept until 1pm. Still tired as hell, I had to get up and get ready for a Delta event at 3pm. It was a "uptown" event so I had to get all shiny. It really turned out nice though. It was a black owned art gallery that specialized in real African art! The prices were a little to rich for my blood! I ended up coming home and relaxing. I talked to old boy for a little while, told him what I had found out about his crush. He told me to leave it alone, but I was still a lil salty. Why? I dont know. Its not like other women shouldnt be attracted to him just because I am. I dont know what it is about him that turns me into this smitten little teenage girl who give him my undivided attentition the minute he calls or walks in the room. For some reason, I feel like he is the one for me; the ideal man.. definately the one I could see getting hitched to. That doesnt mean he feels the same way though. I know he cares about me, but that could be it for all I know. He's not the type to really express himself and I hate that about him.
Anyway, back and work and boss man is up to his usual again.. running his damn mouth! Tonight I have another event with the NPHC. I cant wait until the holidays are over and my days are back the normal.. atleast halfway normal.

T.G.I.F

Thanks GAWD its Friday! The work day is almost over and I am so pleased that I have absolutely nothing to do tonight. This week seems like it took its merry little time. We were super swamped at work and after work wasnt much better. Unfortunately, I start all over tomorrow! I have a chapter mtg, then training as we get prepared for intak, then my niece's birthday party, then a coming out show.. all tomorrow. Sunday, I have a chapter fundraiser to go to from 3-6, when that's over, im going home and getting in the bed. Monday, besides work, I have a Christmas party to go to. You know, sometimes I really hate the holidays. There is TOO much going on, too much money being spent, and not enough time in the day for either. I need a vacation!

Help me lawd!

Ok peeps, its been a long day and its not over yet. Im sitting on the couch at my soror's house right now for a courtesy committe mtg, and we're about to go over to another soror's house for a membership committee mtg, so we killing 2 birds with one stone tonight. Anyway, im tired as hell right now; I feel like im actually about to fall asleep on her couch. She's siting here next to me laughing at me cause she excited about me blogging. LOL Now she wants me to help her create her one! Not tonight!!

Anyway, Im just ready to go home and get in the bed. YT worked me like a hebrew slave today. Im so glad tomorrow is Friday I dont know what to do! Only bad thing about that is I have a LOOONG day Saturday; chapter mtg (2 hrs), chapter development training (another 2hrs), my nieces birthday party (she will be 9), then a coming out show for a local Zeta alumni chapter.

I know why im so tired though. We have been short staffed at work so work has been on overload. I will be glad when her caking ass comes back! Get this, chic been off since October 31st. She had a "pinched nerve" so she says and had to have surgery. I be got damn if it takes 6+ weeks for you to heal up from that shit. Hell, I cut my titays off a few years back and was back at work in 2 weeks. I promise she milking the shit out of this. I want to call her so bad and say bring yo fake ass back to work hoe! LOL But I digress, I probably would chill too if I was still getting paid; that damn FMLA!

I really need some Starbucks or something right now to give me a boost. I dont know how Im going to get thru this tonight, then I got to drive home..on the other side of town!! :(

Clean up or clean house!

You know, as I am laying here watching the news I see why I rarely watch it. Its so damn negative! Seems like all you hear about is people getting killed, people getting robbed and shot, people's homes on fire. Tonight, they even had a special about a hospital scam. Apparently, ppl have been going door to door trying to sell books and magazines saying that proceeds are going to TX Children's Hospital; of course, the hospital has no program like that. I just cant make out why ppl think living a life full of shadyness will benefit them. I know it actully may, temporarily, but how long can that last? What pleasure do they get out of causing other ppl pain?

You know, that's one reason I'm no longer an with my ex. He's been on his own since he was 14 years old. Both his parents were drug addicts; his mother in and out of jail, usually for drug related charges. But, when do you say im going to make a difference in my life. I'm going to break this chain that's holding me back. How long does one or should one hold on to bad memories? When do you take those negatives and turn them into positives? He's in jail this very moment for drug posession. Apparently, he's not getting the picture! I dont have time for that shit! When I met him, I was only 24 years old, and honestly, the life he was living was exciting to me. My mom always says I have and addiction to bad boys. But I am 31 now, and I personally dont want to be with anyone taking "penitentary chances". So many ppl focus on things that hold them back and use that as an excuse not to push forward. I for one think it's cowardly. There are too many ppl in this world that are successful that came from nothing.

Nonetheless, I know I got off track a little, but I know there are a lot of ppl out there, who know of someone who's not quite on the right path. Have you talked to them about it? Have you addressed your concerns? Is there is something you can do to help? If not, get rid of them, NOW! Ask yourself these questions! Its a true saying that misery loves company. People who dont want to do good by themselves certainly won't do good by you!

Hump Day Blues

It's going to be a long day folx. Im still sad about Pimp C! I'm sleepy as hell, didnt get to bed until after midnight last night. Had an e-board mtg last night that was longer than a regular chapter mtg! This morning, I had to go ahead and pay that extra $0.40 for a third shot in my coffee at Starbucks! Soon as a walk in, I got a sales person telling me they need a credit app processed ASAP for a customer wanting to move-in today, you know I was thinking can I walk in the damn door first! A sit down, and before I get logged in y system good, a CSR called about another priority move-in; this time the customer is on the phone and they need the credit checked right then. I just placed them on hold for a few minutes! After I get started, one of the big boys from our Jersey comes in.. and whatayaknow...the desk next to me is the only one available for him to sit at this morning. He has a cool ass northern accent, bu guess what, im tired of hearing it right now! People keep coming over here and talking to him like the desk is the fucking water cooler! If I hear one more story about the traffic coming in this morning, im going to scream!!! And the bitch that caught me walking in this morning, just sent me a list of 30+ customers she need checked by the end of the day.. my phone keeps ringing, word od advise, when someone dont answer, means they arent their or they aint trying to talk..they go make me shank they asses today!

Did I mention today is my ex's birthday and he is in jail... I sware I feel like my day is going like this because I didnt send him a card. But I dont want to give him the slightest notion that I'm thinking about him or that I want him back. God sent him to jail for me! I prayed to remove him from my life so I cant question how he did it!!

R.I.P Pimp C!!!

Chad Butler (December 29, 1973 – December 4, 2007), better known as Pimp C, was a American Southern rapper better known as one-half of the hip hop group UGK.

Wow! I dont know what to say. My sands called me from MD to tell me, I initially didnt believe her. When i looked it up, I damn near started crying! Man, this nigga just got out of prison in December 2005! All I can think of is "Pocket Full of Stones" right now. For those not in the South, you dont understand about Pimp C and UGK (Under Ground Kings).. they are a Dirty South staple! I will never forget, 1994, my last year in high school, UGK's album Super Tight, was all you heard! Those were the days, me up to no good, those were my days when getting high was a everyday thing! I could bust a sweet down and roll a blunt in like 30 seconds! LOL Boy have i grown, times have changed. But, I dont take it back.. it got me where I am now. Anyway, They were #1 here long before "Big Pimpin" and "International Players Anthem". People walking round in their "free Pimp C" shirts, protesting and shit! I even remember seeing a girl who had that shit written on her car windows! I'm praying for your boy Bun B right now cause I know he's probably all fucked up in the head behind this....... Pimp C, gone but not 4gotten!

For my peeps who know what it do.. this is dedicated to you! Classics!!! One Day Your Here...that's dedicated to Pimp C! High Life.. that was my shit!!

(Pocket Full of Stones) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0W4G7tFz_uM&feature=related

(One Day Your Here) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCWH2MmlHQE&feature=related

(High Life) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mB-y3KLjJhA&feature=related

(Murder) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OvtZ9fuZv2E&feature=related

(Diamonds & Wood) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uijHb5U1pD8&feature=related

(Choppin Blades) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWG2m5WOqu8&feature=related

(Wood Wheel) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7w3UblYw8fA&feature=related

(Tell Me Something Good) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O96z3udmE14&feature=related

Happy Founders Day - Alpha Phi Alpha!!

Alpha Phi Alpha, the first intercollegiate Greek-letter fraternity established for African Americans, was founded at Cornell University in Ithaca, New York by seven college men who recognized the need for a strong bond of Brotherhood among African descendants in this country. These men also understood the racism, discrimination, and prejudice that plagued African Americans, and sought this special bond as a source of support for one another. The visionary founders, known as the "Jewels" of the Fraternity are Henry Arthur Callis, Charles Henry Chapman, Eugene Kinckle Jones, George Biddle Kelley, Nathaniel Allison Murray, Robert Harold Ogle, and Vertner Woodson Tandy. These legendary men undertook the immensely daring task of forging this organization which is now international and 150,000 brothers strong.

Fore more information on the ground breaking organization, go to http://www.alpha-phi-alpha.org/


Who You Wit? ICE.....

Hey Peeps!

Today's Horoscope:
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Start a file of your best dreams and schemes, and come back to them often over the next three days. Fellow air signs Gemini and Libra have resources and bits of wisdom to share

^^ Sounds like a bunch of bullshit to me!!

Hey people.. Fatal here, decided to start blogging to help me get some things off my chest, hell, I can't tell my mom every damn thing. I dont really have anything juicy to tell you right now, just wanted to get this piece up and running. I do want to tell you though, I guess its really prewarning you; I have a potty mouth so I hope some of things I say wont offend you. If they do, sorry, get over it.. you can come back to the page or you can move around! I also will need to tell you I type in ebonics sometimes; its my second language. LOL. Anyway, I look forward to blogging. If you have any questions of me, feel free to ask. I will try to answer them as openly and honestly as possible.. If I feel like something is really none of your business, well, I will tell you it's none of you business. Until fingers meets keys again... I'm owt!